Beyond Scented Candles

When did you last spend an hour of supposed “relaxation” staring at your phone through the hole in the massage table, frantically catching up on emails? Guilty as charged!

I’ve even been to a guided meditation class where everyone else seemed blissfully calm whilst I mentally wrote shopping lists and tried to remember I had defrosted anything for dinner ..

If you recognise any of this, congratulations—you’re possibly a midlife professional woman in today’s world. And you’re not alone.

Maya Angelou had it right when she said, “Being a woman is hard work. Not without joy and even ecstasy, but still relentless, unending work.”

For midlife professional women, that work can feel overwhelming at times:

• At work: We’re judged on performance while men are judged on potential, forcing us to constantly prove ourselves
• At home: We’re still typically responsible for household management, even when we’re also breadwinners
• In the “sandwich generation”: We’re caring for both children and aging parents—”carenting” is the new norm for many of us, and in fact women are twice as likely to be carenting the in-laws too!
• In our bodies: Hormonal changes can leave us wandering the house at 3am, sweating like a polar bear wearing a fleecy in the desert and wiped-out
• In our minds: We’re holding it all together while social media tells us to “adjust our crown and power on”

And what’s the solution we’re offered? Scented candles. Bubble baths. Green smoothies. Meditation apps. The occasional spa day where the effects evaporate faster than the steam from the sauna.

No wonder we’re wiped out.

As someone with over 30 years of experience training assertive communication, self-leadership, and emotional intelligence in corporate environments, I’ve watched this pattern play out countless times.

I’ve also lived it.

Many folks know that I had to wade thigh deep through a difficult divorce that cost me my business, my home, my pension and my sanity. I moved house, lost financial stability, and then Covid hit. My menopause wasn’t just uncomfortable—it severely impacted my mental health to the point where I considered ending my life, and it’s no secret that it became very scary!

This journey led me to qualify in suicide intervention (which I have now taught for many years), I had to rebuild my training business from scratch, I found love, remarried and took on the challenge of navigating a second marriage, family and the stuff that often brings …  and now I have been working on a project behind the scenes that brings all of my learning, qualifications and lived experience together to help other women – Midlife Reboot: Radical Self-Care for Wiped-out Women.

Why “Radical” Self-Care?

“Radical” comes from the Latin word “radix,” meaning “root.” And that’s what most self-care approaches miss—they don’t go deep enough to address what’s really knocking us sideways, and only ever touch the surface.

Real self-care isn’t about indulgence; it’s about meeting your actual needs:

• Setting boundaries without guilt
• Having confident conversations
• Saying what you really mean
• Not putting up with stuff you vehemently disagree with
• Valuing your own wellbeing enough that you’re not 5th on your own to-do list
• Building self-esteem
• Reconnecting with yourself and what matters most to you
• Building a Tribe and being part of a community
• Recognising that self care is not selfish, it’s essential in today’s world.

It’s about developing habits that are as regular and easy as brushing your teeth every morning, NOT creating more pressure with expensive supplements you’ll forget to take.

The Professional Cost of Being Wiped Out

For midlife professional women, being “wiped out” isn’t just a personal issue—it’s a professional limitation.

Consider:

• What creative solutions might you develop if your mind weren’t clouded by overwhelm?
• What leadership potential remains untapped because you’re stretched too thin?
• What opportunities are you missing because you’re too exhausted to notice them?

Our overall wellbeing rests on seven key pillars:

1. Physical
2. Emotional
3. Mental
4. Social
5. Financial
6. Spiritual
7. Vocational

When these pillars are weak, everything suffers—including our professional performance.

From Surviving to Thriving

The average human life spans roughly 4,000 weeks. How many of yours have been spent trying to be, do, and have everything—whilst enjoying nothing? What if rather than trying to “have it all” we decided that we want enough – enough to make us full accomplished, satisfied, that we have achieved, and where we are happy and content?

For professional women in midlife, the challenge isn’t just adding more to your already-full plate. It’s about making sure what’s on your plate actually nourishes you and allows you to have enough.

That’s where my programme “Midlife Reboot: Radical Self-Care for Wiped-out Women” can help. It’s a six-week online group coaching programme that goes deeper than the Insta-Reality quick fix, surface deep solutions to build sustainable wellbeing.

With one hour per week focused on the three roots that help us weather any storm – values, self-worth, and community –  this programme helps professional women move from merely surviving to genuinely thriving.

Because we only have one time around, folks. And it’s time we enjoyed the ride.